Posts Tagged ‘snark’

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Jov sez: How to Spec Your Priest

February 3, 2009

noAs you all have probably noticed from my “It Came From The Meeting Stone” screenshots, not being a tard when standing at the trainer clicking the little talent buttons is important to me.  And since there seem to be some people determined to be creative, original, or just entirely avoid min/maxing for who knows WHAT reason…  I’m gonna make a handy little post.  And more than that, I’m going to macro it with a /t %t “Hey, it may have escaped your notice, but your spec is bad.  I don’t see how you can be anything but a drain on your raid with a spec that special.  Please check out the guide at {here} and thank me later.”

Okay, first of all, there are two types of priest: Holy (*buffs nails*) and Discipline (… meh).  Okay, there’s the replenishment bot in the corner, but we don’t care about them.  Their purpose is just to fill our neverending mana pool.  But on to the basics.

First, you’ve two options for spec, with some wiggle room allowed in each.

Discipline (54/13/0 — points remaining: 4)
Holy (14/54/0 — points remaining: 3)

snowflakeYou do NOT have the option to try and pick a little of column one and a little of column two. Doing so does not make you a tender and unique snowflake.  It makes you spend a respec fee to not do it wrong.

Breakdown:

Must haves — Both specs
Twin Disciplines : Superior choice to Unbreakable Will; more spellpower is good.
Improved Fort : Unfortunately, we need it.
Improved Inner Fire : Starting at lv 71, Inner Fire gives a spellpower boost.  Improved improves it.  Better choice than Silent Resolve.
Inner Focus : A free spell (with bonus improved chance to crit).  Good for getting time out of the 5 second rule.
Meditation : Our primary regen talent.
Holy Specialization : Crit is very important to several of our talents.  This is a free 5%.
Divine Fury : Reduced cast time to smite, holy fire, flash and greater.  Superior to Spell Warding.
Inspiration : If there’s any chance you’re going to be having a heal land on a tank, you want this maxed.

Must haves — Discipline Spec
Improved PW Shield : You’ll be shielding a lot; improve it.
Mental Agility : Reduced mana cost on instants, good for all the shielding you’ll be doing.
Mental Strength : More mana, better results from Replenishment, required for Power Infusion.
Focused Power : Increases Spellpower
Enlightenment : Improved stats plus haste
Power Infusion : Not just for mages 😉
Renewed Hope : Improved crit meshes well with Divine Aegis
*Grace : (see Situational section below)
Rapture : Mana regen talent
Aspiration : Primarily for the reduced cooldown of Penance
Divine Aegis : Good with Renewed Hope.  Again, shields are vital.
Pain Suppression : Good “oh shit” button
Borrowed Time : Haste and more shield improvement
Penance : Penance and Shield are the two main “bread and butter” spells of the discipline spec.  Don’t spec Discipline without this talent.

Suggested Use of Leftover Points — Discipline Spec
Desperate Prayer, Improved Renew, Divine Spirit — Regular DS is the strongest of these, but they all work.
Situational: If you don’t run with Shammies, feel free to go IDS.  If you don’t have a protadin, get *Grace.

Skip — Discipline Spec
Improved Divine Spirit : Does not stack with Flametongue Totem.  If there are shammies in the raid, chances are this is a wasted point.
Reflective Shield : Only reflects damage done to you when you are shielded.  Does not reflect damage when anyone else is shielded.
*Grace : Damage Reduction does not stack with Blessing of Sanctuary, though the boost to +heal does.

Must haves — Holy Spec
Improved Renew : Better option than the alternatives
Improved Healing : Reduced mana cost of heals
Holy Reach OR Desperate Prayer : Either of these is as good as the other.  Holy Reach will increase the spread of CoH and Holy Nova.  Desperate Prayer will heal you (personally, I think you’re better off with Binding Heal, but to each his own).  They’re both primarily a means to jump down a tier.
Spirit of Redemption : 5% spirit increase, plus improved death.
Spiritual Guidance : Spellpower increased by 25% total spirit.  Spirit is still mandatory for holy priests.
Surge of Light : 50% Chance on crit to get a free flash/smite.  Good for downtime when no one needs a heal, good for getting time out of the 5 second rule when paired with Inner Focus.
Spiritual Healing : Improves healing spells
Holy Concentration : Clearcasting
Empowered Healing : Improves Greater, Binding and Flash heals
Serendipity : Mana regen talent
Imp Holy Concentration : You get a reduced cast time for Greater, Flash, and Binding, plus improved chance to proc Clearcasting
Circle of Healing : 6 second cooldown or not, this is still a valuable part of a holy priest’s arsenal, and a useful group heal.
Divine Providence : Improves healing done by all spells not Greater/Flash and reduces the cooldown of ProM.
Guardian Spirit : Good “oh shit!” button that also increases all healing done to the target.

Suggested Use of Leftover Points — Holy Spec
Healing Prayers, Test of Faith, Desperate Prayer/Holy Reach — all solid choices.

Skip — Holy Spec
Healing Focus : Changes to pushback mechanics make this talent somewhat lackluster compared to others, so skip it.

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Jov sez: The World is Ending!

January 27, 2009

Oh god!  Oh woe!  The Nerf has killed priests forever!

/reroll

In other news, bananas will be extinct within 10 years, and 28/43 is the future.

28-43Where can you go wrong?

(Also, I’ve some nice beachfront property in Kansas to sell you.)

In more serious news, the cooldown sucks.  I’ve gotten into some baaaad bad habits over the past couple months, and it’s biting me in the ass now.  I remember reading somewhere something I really agreed with:  It’s not the bosses that get you (even Maly, OS+ and Sapphiron are easily doable without touching CoH at all) it’s the trash.

Or is Spider and DK wing trash supposed to kill half the DPS every pull?  hrm…

My biggest complaint about this week isn’t even so much the cooldown as it is the cooldown + breaking bad habits/relearning to raid heal + trial by fire of being the only heal lead available this past week.

I’m also nervous about the rotation that Blizzard is talking about.  The specific example they mentioned as being the “kind of thing” they’re looking at, was a “each time you cast Flash Heal, you get reduced cast time of Greater” to encourage spell variety and weaving.  But, they’ve done that.  It was called Incarnate Raiment.  The set bonuses were crap.

The cooldown makes me look really hard at Divine Providence, and remember old Prayer of Mending.  (Remember when they first implemented it and it didn’t have a cooldown?  But it was being abused, so they added one.)  Divine Providence is our “improve all multi-target heals” talent.  One of the spells included is a reduced cooldown on Prayer of Mending.  After a couple years, Blizzard gave priests the opportunity to tweak their cooldowns (a bit) and I really wonder if CoH will be added to that.

I don’t really have much in the way of statements this post, more suppositions and wonderings.

eta: Folks, I’m apparently failing at sarcasm in this post, beyond me tagging it “snark” and offering to sell beachfront Kansas property.  😛

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Seri sez: Search terms fail… or do they?

December 25, 2008

magnifying_glassI felt a lot of pressure this week to produce something profound to compliment Jov’s musings on enchantments. I don’t respond well to pressure, so at most you might consider today’s topic to be profoundly… silly.

Since Jov and I started World of Snarkcraft, I’ve become something of a stat junkie. I check our stats almost every day, sometimes twice a day, because I’m curious what posts are popular and how folks are finding them. (Would you believe that 5 of our top 10 search terms of all time are Shadow-oriented?) Occasionally, people will get to us using the strangest search engine terms. I thought you might get a chuckle at some of these… and maybe I can pre-emptively answer some questions for the next person to stumble across us by mistake.

more desirable hunter or rogue wotlk – Personally, I’d say rogue. Jov would probably say hunter. However, hunters are about to get nerfed and rogues have it pretty bad at the moment in PVE. Is there a third option?

resto druid flask and food buff wotlk – Short answer: Yes. Long answer: There are a lot of options. You can probably get some tips from Jov’s Consumables Guide even though it’s Priest-oriented.

everfrost chip coordinates – No idea, but if you find some please e-mail me.

how to get out of applying to 2 guilds a – I assume this was cut off and finishes with “at once.” Just a thought: “I’ve accepted an invitation from another guild, thank you for your interest.”

northrend tanks exalted rep screwed – Er, what?

wow arachnophobia naxx – *wince* Sorry, mate.

erp scarlet crusade – For the love of Jaina, no. No no no! This is not the blog you’re looking for. I know exactly which comment thread resulted in this particular search engine hit and I’m blaming YOU Tarsus.

wotlk sound crackling – Is the sound only crackling in WoW? If it happens in other applications, it’s not a WoW issue. If it IS only happening in WoW, try the WoW Support Forum. And, uh, good luck.

maximum hit rating wotlk casters – For offensive spell casters vs raid boss mobs (level 83), the cap is 17% (~446 hit rating). The amount of hit you need may be less depending on your talents and available debuffs from your raid group. See Wowwiki’s spell hit entry.

“meeting stone” coordinate violet hold – There is no meeting stone for the Violet Hold.

Well, I hope that clears some things up. Have a good weekend, everyone!

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Seri sez: Now you pay da ogre! – Signs your Class Leader is an idiot.

December 4, 2008

WTFA good Class Leader is like a savory cheddar: firm but yielding, sharp but subtle and aged to perfection. Or, in my case, like a croissant: A bit flaky, but versatile. Unfortunately, as with any specialization, we have our share of so-called “experts” who engender more confusion than confidence, more contempt than respect, and… dare I say it… more “WTF” than “OIC” (as the youngsters say).

Fortunately for you, I’m not afraid to call an apple an apple. I grit my teeth and stand up in defiance of this nonsense, shaking my tiny fist at the sky. Knowledge is power, you see, and the better able you are to recognize these impostors the sooner you can knock them from their pedestals and pour a bitter draught of reality down their throats. Or, if nothing else, you’ll be better prepared to do damage control. Be alert for the warning signs!

They don’t practice what they preach.

You know the type. They yell at you for DPSing, but you see them Smiting during trash pulls. They insist you get an expensive enchant, but don’t get it themselves. They tell you to use buff food and elixirs/flasks, but don’t use anything themselves. They harp on you about buffing, but never do their share. They expect you to be on time, but they’re chronically late. This is perhaps even worse than the straight-up ignorant Class Leader. I recommend flogging, unless they’re into that sort of thing. If they are, collaborating with your Hunters for Misdirect hazing may be your only option.

They’re rolling/bidding against DPS casters on hit gear… for their healing set.

This just in from our global news source: Heals don’t miss. If you fail to heal someone, there’s not even a legendary item that’s going to make you any less fail. Sure, there may be occasions where the item is an upgrade for you just based on the other stats on it but there’s no reason you should be competing with a DPS caster for hit gear.

They’re socketing Mp5… as Holy.

As Jov kindly pointed out on Tuesday, there’s no reason for a Holy Priest to socket Mp5. A Disc Priest? Sure. Maybe. It depends. If your Class Leader is a Holy Priest socketing Mp5, it is your biological imperative to laugh at them. If they start waving their lustrous blue gems in your face, run and tell an adult. It’s just indecent.

They get 90-100% of their Priest Class information from the Official WoW Priest Forums.

QQ, this way!There are so many sources of awesome Priest information out there… unfortunately, the Official Priest Forum is not one of them. Sure, there is probably a ‘how to priest’ sticky there somewhere that is of help to novices, but if you’ve been Priesting/raiding for a while you’re not a novice and neither is (I hope) your Class Leader. I don’t bother reading ANY of the official WoW forums, because 99.5% of the time it’s just full of whining. It’s demoralizing as hell, and nothing will make you feel like your class (whatever it is) is broken and Blizzard hates it quite as much as browsing the official class forum. Good Priests look elsewhere. That’s why you’re here. That’s why we’re here. To cut through the clutter.

They think MMO Champion is a breakfast cereal. *rimshot*

(If it were, I’d still read the back of the box every morning.)

Ever wished that someone would just yank all the useful information out of blue posts every day and put it somewhere you could read it without slogging through the mire of whining and ‘133t-speak’ that is the WoW forums? I’m about to make that wish come true. Every Class Leader should be in the habit of checking MMO Champion … if not daily, then at least once a week. It should not be your only source of information, but it’s a great way of staying on top of the most recent WoW-related news. I usually just read the news page, but if you’re particularly ambitious you can browse the BlueTracker.

They’re Shadow.

Okay, okay, Shadow Priests can make good Class Leaders too, but you might be surprised just how many of them used to be Holy, burned out, and now have zero interest in Holy Priesting. (How dumb is that?) This particularly breed will usually panic at the first implication that maybe they might have to heal again (even temporarily). Try it sometime when you see them gathering outside the instance portal, just to watch them scatter. It’s a hoot, kind of like chasing pigeons in the park. What, you don’t chase pigeons? Do I have to teach you EVERYTHING?

They don’t read World of Snarkcraft.

Okay, so maybe our brand of tough love isn’t necessarily for everyone. But beneath our bitter and sarcastic exteriors lies… okay, probably just more bitterness and sarcasm. What was I saying? Oh! Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach him to blog and… he may just learn something. Or drown in the archives. Either way, it’s a win.

What did I miss? Comment freely! Viva la Revolution!

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Seri sez: Pro LFG – The Art of Guild Seeking

October 23, 2008

I’ve spent a good chunk of time recently browsing the LFG forums. No, I’m not looking for a new guild but rather for folks who might be a good match for my guild. Hey, it’s what I do. Anyway, this activity only serves to remind me that I left something crucial out of my How to Apply to a Raid Guild post: Your first impression isn’t always your application.

That’s right, folks, I’m talking about the “looking for guild” post.

I know what you’re thinking: How can you possibly fail at a “looking for guild” post? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Provide as little information about yourself as possible.

Mystery breeds intrigue, so be as vague as possible when crafting your post. Post on a lowbie alt, preferably from a different server from your normal for extra obfuscation. In fact, don’t even advertise your class… use general terms like “healer” or “tank.”

2. Dumb down your verbiage.

Big words can be scary, and you don’t want to intimidate any recruiters with your expansive vocabulary. No one wants a new guy around that’s smarter than they are. Just to be safe, use as few capital letters and punctuation as possible.

3. Contradict yourself.

It’s easier to find a guild if you’re flexible and have strict stop and start times for raid nights.

4. Demonstrate your sense of humor. lol.

Text is such a difficult medium for expression. You don’t want to seem like a stick in the mud, so be sure to throw in a few “lols” so recruiters know you are easy-going and have a good sense of humor. lol.

…I think you get the idea. I don’t really know what these people are thinking; it’s an epidemic. WoW Lemmings even has an “idiot filter” to weed out the Rouges, Droods and uber-133t.

Sometimes I’m tempted to reply just to let them know why I’m not going to invite them to apply to my guild, but that seems just a little bit bitchy. (And, let’s face it, it isn’t very good PR.)

Now, don’t get me wrong. I totally understand that sometimes folks have perfectly valid reasons for posting on an alt. Ok, fine, but give us something to work with! If you won’t post an armory link, post your relevant stats or a link to an anonymous gear profile. If that’s too much effort, don’t assume our invitation to apply is an invitation to transfer/raid because smart raid guilds don’t invite people sight unseen. (Unless you’re a Resto Shaman, I hear that’s a whole other ball game.)

We don’t need your life story or your reasons for guild seeking. Just tell us who you are, where you’re at, where you’re going and when you’re available. That’s really all we need to know up front, and the less time we have to spend scanning your post to find this information the better off you’ll be. In fact, I invite you all to use the following template for your next LFG post:

————————————————————-

Character name/server (optional):
Class/Spec:
Armory or Profile Link:
Available to transfer? (Y/N):
Current level of progression:
Desired level of progression:
Time zone:
Desired raid days/times:

LFG Template by Seri @ World of Snarkcraft™
————————————————————–

Ok, ok, World of Snarkcraft advertisement optional.

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Seri snarks: Spec Wrecks

October 9, 2008

I’ve never considered myself to be a speccist (defined as someone who believes in one true way to spec for a given class/role) but maybe I’m starting to get a bit pickier as I age. These days I find myself getting more and more snarky when I encounter questionable spec choices. Today, I’m going to share with you some of the specs I love… to hate.

Warning: Not for the faint of heart! Read at your own risk, particularly if you have a weak stomach.

Wreck #1: The Weekend Warrior – 19/42/0

Can’t decide if you prefer to raid or PVP? Spec for both! Eschew pesky things like Inspiration and Imp. Fortitude… surely some other priest will pick up the slack.

Wreck #2: Tri-Specced to Useless – 21/20/19

I think it was Jov that first coined the phrase ‘Tri-Specced to Useless’ unless she stole it from someone else and passed it off as her own witticism (really, I wouldn’t put it past her). Although it was originally coined with Druids in mind (and you KNOW the sort of druids I’m talking about), it applies equally well here. Congratulations, you have chosen a spec that might allow you to solo dailies without being remotely viable for anything else.

Wreck #3: I Am Holy, Lawl: 0/61/0

It’s been a long time since I saw this beauty… thankfully. I can only imagine that this is dreamed up by the same sort of brainiac that puts 61 points in Protection to be a tank. Although 61 points in Resto makes for an awesome (if helpless) Druid, the same cannot be said for Priests. Walking around with this spec is like having a bright pink blinking neon sign reading ‘Dumbass’ over your head. I’m convinced that’s what my tooltip should tell me when I mouseover someone with this spec, rather than something so innocuous as “Holy.”

…hey, that’s not a bad idea. WTB add-on coder!

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Interview: Jov on Gems

October 8, 2008

Today we feature a special treat: An exclusive interview with World of Snarkcraft’s own illustrious Jov.

Guest Interviewer: Wow, thanks so much for taking the time to sit down with me. I’ve been following World of Snarkcraft since day one and I’m really excited to have this opportunity. Let’s get to it, shall we?

G: So, let’s say I just got a new pair of healing pants with blue sockets. What gems should I put in them?
Jov: Well, that kinda depends. I like Sparkling spirit gems in blue sockets, but if you need a boost to healing, the purple Purified heal/spirit are also good.

G: What about Mp5? Those Lustrous gems sure are… lustrous.
Jov: Lustrous… do you even know what that means? It means “without sparkle.” (It does, trust me, look it up) If Sparkling is good, why would a gem without sparkle be good? Besides, why would you want no sparkle? Purified, on the other hand, means pure and free from undesirable elements. MUCH better.

G: Fair enough. What about Royal gems? Healing + Mp5?
Jov: You know what happens with Royalty, right? So much crap in the middle ages happened because of inbreeding between royals. Going crazy, genetic diseases… Seriously. Besides, these are US servers. We don’t have a King or Queen. And we like it that way.

G: I see what you did there. Clever. What about green gems? I picked up this Dazzling beauty in the Caverns of Time the other day. Intellect + Mp5?
Jov: Alas, green gems are on the whole worthless. Period. It really all comes down to the fact that you really want gems to boost your healing. Spirit does, if you’re specced correctly, so does straight Heal. Green gems have neither of those things.

G: You’re blowing my mind here. If I can’t use green gems, and Lustrous/Royal gems are out… surely you don’t want me to socket Defense or Attack Power for Mp5?
Jov: Of course! But only on your tanking and melee sets. Healing sets need healing gems.. See how that works? The MP5 stat should always be a spirit based gem.

G: Do you have tanking and/or melee sets?
Jov: I can neither confirm nor deny that I have or have had or will have in the future tanking or melee sets. Next question.

G: Uh, right. Okay. So, let’s get back to this Mp5 thing. What do you mean by, “The Mp5 stat should always be a spirit based gem.”
Jov: I mean “the MP5 stat should always be a spirit-based gem.” Spirit is a priest’s MP5. Take a look at our talent trees. The average healing-specced priest will always have a few key talents: Meditation, Spirit of Redemption, Spiritual Guidance, and at least starting out Improved Divine Spirit. What do all those talents have in common?

G: Swanky Icons?
Jov: No! Spirit! Meditation gives us 30% of our out-of-combat mana regen in-combat. Improved Divine Spirit boosts our Spirit by 50 and gives 10% of our Spirit back as spell damage/healing. Spirit of Redemption gives us an extra 5% Spirit. And Spiritual Guidance gives us 25% of our spirit as free healing. See how all those things work together?

G: I think so. But have you given any consideration at all to how stacking all that Spirit affects your regen?

Jov:

G: Oh! I get it! Haha…

Jov:

G: Ok, enough about gems. Let’s talk about Seri… what’s it like to raid with her?
Jov: Eh, it’s okay I guess. I mean, I’ve been doing it for three years now, so it’s not like anything new or special or anything.

G: … Heehee, you’re a funny lady Miss Jov!
Jov: Why thank you.

G: But don’t you think she’s a good class lead? Maybe deserves more respect than she’s getting in priest chat?
Jov: Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for her doing the hard work. But she doesn’t pay me enough for respect in priest chat. Wait a sec… How do you know what goes on in priest chat?

G: Uh… research, you know. Every good reporter does research.
Jov: Really. And what other research have you been doing?

G: Aren’t I supposed to be the one asking the questions?
Jov: You’re not really a reporter, are you? You’re Seri, in a twill vest and brewfest hat!

G: I can neither confirm nor deny that I am or have been or will be in the future…