Guest Post: Gaming With Your S.O.

October 29, 2009


I was reading my excessive list of blogs I check daily at work and noticed they were looking for guest posters during the vaca. (I really do hate that word, but it’s so easy to use.) I thought I’d drop my hat into the ring as it were so here I am!

I guess I should introduce myself a bit prior to getting to the meat of what I’d like to discuss with you fine readers today. I’ve been playing WoW since the early days, November 26th, 2004 is when I created my account and my very first character was a Night Elf Warrior. Rawr. I dabbled through vanilla, and managed to get myself to around level 43 and quit cold turkey for a good year. I would have had a nifty zergling or panda pet as well but I really despise a certain gaming establishment that sold my copy of the original CE I had paid for, but that’s a story for another time. No hard feelings. Really. No, really.


Way back when I started to play my significant other started to play with me. We both bought the game, made some Night Elves because they were cool looking and went on our way. She took a break about half a year before I did, and then I took my good long break.

We picked the game back up when BC was released and I created a hunter at that point. She a druid and we went along our ways and played through BC to Wrath. Long story slightly less long, today I am an official alt-a-holic. I have four 80’s and turned out to be a raid leader in the guild I’m currently in. She’s also amassed a number of 80’s under her belt and we both have a good selection of people to choose from to play.

That said, I read a lot of WoW related blogs as I stated above. Some of the ones I read often have posts about their spouse who plays with them and it got me wondering. Are she and I alone here, are we one of the only couples I’m aware of that when they play a game together, such as WoW, we don’t actually play together? We sit three feet apart from each other, and we talk and we even raid and instance on occasion.

But during the entire 1-80 process for our multiple characters we never actually grouped. Is that odd? Seems normal to us and fits us I guess since we do it without a problem but I always wonder, are we just the weird people, and every single other person out there does that?

I guess it’s enough that we raid and run heroics together. I mean, I see her a lot. We both work for the same company, more or less the same hours and same days off. She’s not remotely a bad player, not someone I wouldn’t want to bring on a raid. Are we doing something wrong here? Is it chaos? Cats and dogs sleeping together sort of chaos and end of the world…ness?

I personally feel it works out. We live together, spend a lot of time with each other and our friends but in game we get our “alone” time as it were. We get a nice little MMO-Break from each other. I think that’s a good thing in a way. We don’t really fight, or argue we still get our work done and our house clean and the dogs and cat fed. So it must be good, right?

What do all of you think?

Those of who play with your significant other. How do you do it, do you two constantly group/party up and does it work out? I wonder.


  1. I think the most interesting relationships are the ones that have their own, interesting little quirks and dynamics. 🙂

  2. Hm, I out leveled my s.o. in Aion and he is none to happy with me, feels that my outleveling him is forcing him to rush through content he rather enjoy with me… But he also despises pugs while I enjoy them. *shrugs*

    We raided, instanced, and leveled in WoW together. Very rarely did we do separate things in game, but we also have a long distance relationship going on so it’s kind of our date night kind of thing… /nerdgasms

    I upset the balance quo in Aion eeps.

  3. My husband and I play, but we usually do separate stuff unless we’re raiding so you’re not alone! Occasionally I’ll ask for his help with something (I had to beg him to do HH with me last night). Other than that though, we talk to each other in the computer room while playing, but we don’t really level up together or anything. I have an 80 alt and so does he, but they were leveled completely separate at different times too so there you go. 🙂

  4. I met my bf in the guild I’m currently in. I joined as a friend of a guild mate (who has since moved to “greener pastures” so to speak) So we met, by raiding together. Right now we have 2 alts that we are sort of leveling together, but we each have several toons that we play individually. We do groups together on our mains as I’m one of like 3 “full time” healers in the guild and I reserve my heroics for his tank.

    Raiding side by side as tank healer has been wonderful for us. we can communicate very well what our needs are without having to key up vent ect, but that doesn’t make us a package deal. We rarely if ever do pugs together…the few times we have, we’ve had such bad luck…in fact if we’re both in the same pug you can almost bet its going to be fail.

  5. The bf and I are just like you and Adlib. We never do anything together in-game except for raids, the very occasional heroic, and when someone decides to camp a healing priest and I need help. Living with him is enough time together IMO.

  6. my SO and I met thru our current guild. she hated me at 1st, as I was a pretty rough raid leader. since then, i’ve stepped from leading and we’ve become pretty much inseperable. I moved to her city and we work together as well. we have several toons together. all set up to compliment each other but none at max level. we just use ’em as a way to hang out and play together after a stressfull day at work and w/ the kids. but we also have our “mains”. she has her own personal toon that she’s leveling and I have my own 80 that I use to raid. I’m way more into the game than she is, but it works because we can have time together and apart since in RL we’re together 24/7 pretty much

  7. It’s interesting to read the comments after re-reading what I wrote. I’m glad to know she and I aren’t the only ones in that kind of “WoW” relationships! Thanks for the comments all. I was a little nervous about what I wrote.

  8. My boyfriend got me started in WoW. i did not think I’d like it, but after an hour of leveling a Pally on his account he pried me away and got me my own account.

    Since then we have leveled several duos…and several solo toons. Duos are interesting as you play differently than if you played alone. Solos allow us to level at our own pace without needing the other.

    We are in the same guild and nearly always raid together. I save one healer every day to run the daily heroic with him when he gets home from work. I do pugs….he generally does not. He also tends to level more alts than I do. Both of us love this game and put our all into the characters that we play. We play apart and together.

  9. For me and Zetri we actually have a deal worked out. When we play on characters we started at the same time we only play them together. We actually had to bang this deal out as she started to out level me on our first 80s during the day and when we play at night I would get stuck healing her through the next set of content because I couldn’t hit the mobs!

    It flipped on our next set as I have amassed a large amount of emblems and shards and geared my char with heirlooms. No she saw where I was coming from as we had trouble finding content we were both at level to do without someone repeating old quests.

    Now we have set play together alts and play on your own alts. But we still only have 1 80 each so we have come into conflict with what to do. She likes to do 5 mans with guildies and hates pugging and I have been steadily making the foray into raiding. She is more than capable to come along but thinks it too stressful. Now we miss playing together but don’t want to play the game each other likes!

    *shakes fist* “Why Bliz!” Stupid too big world with too much to do.

  10. Me and my ex were used to sit less than 2 feet apart but rarely did the same thing in game unless we were raiding.

    I can only remember 2 occasions. First was a ZF run when the lost a healer and they invited me. DUH, I was a noobadin back then I was smacking things about the head with my level 40 epic sword, whatever that was called … yeah … destiny … ah … memories. Anyway, specced holy. Yeah, I know noob!!!

    And the second time was when we were killing some cultists in Syphilis.

    Not at all unusual mate. You have to put up with them in real life, give yourself an in game break!!

  11. It’s funny, but until recently my husband and I did everything together in game. I led a guild, he was an officer. He led raids, I helped. We levelled together. We did instances together. We raided together.

    And we fought about the game constantly.

    He and I like to do different things in game. He can farm like no tomorrow, it makes me want to tear out my eyes. I can grind rep like no tomorrow…which is odd since it’s a type of farming, but he can’t stand rep grinds. We have very different raid styles/expectations. I like PvP, he does not.

    We’ve decided to focus on doing the things in game together we enjoy doing together – levelling, doing dungeons – and the rest of the time, we do our own thing. Whether I’m PvPing and he’s playing a first person shooter, or I’m raiding and he’s playing Rock Band very loudly behind me. *grin*

    I think every couple is different and need to find their happy medium.

  12. My husband and I play, and we have played “TOGETHER” before… about five years ago when we first started the game. We leveled night elves, cuz we were cool too.
    However, he took a long break, and I started raiding more hardcore. We just don’t do the same stuff anymore. And definitely dont now that we have a toddler that needs one of us to have attention on her.
    So nah, it’s not weird.

  13. My boyfriend introduced me to WoW almost 5 years ago now. At first we only had one account and I sat looking over his shoulder whilst he levelled. Then, I got my own account and never really looked back. We are both members of the same raiding guild, he’s the main tank and I’m a healer but outside raiding our interests differ slightly. I love alts, he doesn’t. We do 5 mans together and separately, same with 10 mans. He pvps without me fairly often. In fact quite often when we are both online, we are found in completely different zones, doing completely different things. Although if my alts get ganked, with fury in his eyes, he’s usually en route without me saying a word.

  14. t.l.d.r. version – my hubby and I are pretty much Erinys and her boyfriend

    up until about a week ago my husband and I weren’t even in the same guild O_o

    I’m a terrible alcoholic and he, after burning out for a while spreading himself too thin between his alts, just sticks to his druid now.

    we do argent crusade dailies together, occasional achievements and silly things and we used to raid together (and now sarting to again) but more often then not – I’m doing my own thing and he’s doing thing. I maybe leveling yet another alt and he might be kicking butt in battlegrounds and it suits us just fine. we tried leveling together, more then once. we can do ok for one, maybe 2 levels and then the fact that we have different playing styles rears its ugly head. so we do short quest chains stints, and run occasional instance together (but both of us pug too) and otherwise just play whichever part of the game either of us feels like playing at the time.

    and it works beautifully (except when I’m in an instance and he’s in battleground and I look over his shoulder, get distracted and people die 😛 )

  15. I actually started playing shortly before BC came out while my husband had been playing and raiding a while before that. I leveled all the way to 70 by myself, with only occassional help from my husband. We’ve made some alts that we play together and when Wrath hit, we leveled our mains together (mostly because it was easier, so I could level tank and he could level healer). Now, we mostly do any leveling seperately and do raid and heroics together, though some times we even do heroics seperately.

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