Guest Post: EZ WoW– Solutions for the E-Peen GenerationOctober 27, 2009
This rebuttal is brought to you by Morrigahn of Caer Morrighan
There’s been some discussion about WoW being too easy recently. It started with a discussion of how the change in the difficulty has affected social relations on World of Matticus. This was followed by an excellent post at the Pink Pigtail Inn which I must say I agree with 100%. Then it spread across the blogosphere like wildfire and was picked up by the likes of Casual Hardcore and Tobold.
This is my contribution to the debate. Instead of talking about the problem I’m suggesting a solution. Its not a practical solution. Its more a ranting, slightly insane type of solution.
Let me tell you whats really behind the ‘too easy’ and ‘welfare epics’ complaints.
Once upon a time, only a very few people had epic gear because only a very few people could raid. This allowed them to feel better than everyone else. Their gear was the visible evidence of their success. They could walk around their relevant city, confident that no one looked better than them. This rewarded them for their lack of social life. They were the ‘elites’. Everyone else was a ‘pleb’.
Fact 1: players who whine normally weren’t a part of this elite. They resent the fact that they won’t ever get the chance to lord it over their fellow players based on having cool looking gear.
Solution 1: make gear more user definable. Then elites can prance around in ridiculous looking gear and think they are better while plebs get a good laugh instead of having to listen to them whine.
Fact 2: players who think that raids and gear should be limited to a select few are quite happy to be gaining whilst others pay for them to do so.
Solution 2: make raids ridiculously hard but make players pay extra to access them, whilst us plebs pay less since we can’t access them since we have jobs/lives/our sanity. So if for every 10 players, 9 are plebs then those 9 players can pay say $10/£6 a month. Raiding is about 1/3 of the game content so plebs pay 1/3 less. That means that the $45/£27 a month that the plebs were paying should all now be paid by the elite. The elite can be elite, but they have to pay $60/£36 a month to do so. Of course since the elites have no jobs they can’t afford to do this. Which means even less elites. Which means, to cover the cost of raid development, the fee would have to be higher. It also means you brought your epics. But you can strut around and look cool if that’s what you really want.
Fact 3: players who complain that content is not worth doing because world top 5 guilds have already completed it need a quicker way to get the hell out of my WoW.
Solution 3: implement software that recognises these key phrases so that when someone makes a statement like this an option box pops up in WoW allowing them to choose to end their subscription immediately. In fact, give them a $50 bonus for leaving. That money will easily be made back by the saved time on the forums not answering their posts. Plebs would be happy to increase their subscription by the 0.50c/30p it would cost to cover this for the reward of not having to listen to this complaint ever again.
Fact 4: players who like to be judged based on their gear don’t like it when new gear comes along to replace it. This makes them feel that all their work has been a complete waste of time.
Solution 4: allow gear to scale with epeen. Then the plebs will be able to spot the enormous d***** a mile off and avoid them. This would be an addition to Solution 1.
Fact 5: players who want to be better than everyone else don’t want to play in a cooperative environment.
Solution 5: make a whole new version of WoW that doesn’t involve cooperative play but can be played competitively only. Call it … Starcraft? In order to make up for the lost revenue from Solution 3, players could be directed to this game instead.
I am a pleb and proud of it. I call upon plebs everywhere to rise up and defend their right to have epic gear and participate in raids they are paying for the development of. Yes, entry level raid content is easier than it was, but this is our right as paying players! No the game is not easier because most players still have never even seen Algalon yet, and hes the end boss of the previous tier! No they are not welfare epics because every player who has an epic item has to suffer through the complaints of the epeen brigade and that is payment enough!
Disclaimer: This was a political broadcast brought to you by Morrighan, head of the Plebs for Epix party. Morrighan accepts that not all vanilla raiders are epeens. Not all people who complain about the game being easy or welfare epics are epeens. Morrighan has a lot of friends who were both vanilla raiders and don’t like how easy epics are to get and is not calling them epeens. She’s just fed up with listening to complaints about WoW being too easy from people who can’t even manage Heroic Azjol Nerub!