Guest Post: EZ WoW– Solutions for the E-Peen Generation

October 27, 2009

This rebuttal is brought to you by Morrigahn of Caer Morrighan

There’s been some discussion about WoW being too easy recently.  It started with a discussion of how the change in the difficulty has affected social relations on World of Matticus.  This was followed by an excellent post at the Pink Pigtail Inn which I must say I agree with 100%.  Then it spread across the blogosphere like wildfire and was picked up by the likes of Casual Hardcore and  Tobold.

This is my contribution to the debate.  Instead of talking about the problem I’m suggesting a solution.  Its not a practical solution.  Its more a ranting, slightly insane type of solution.

Let me tell you whats really behind the ‘too easy’ and ‘welfare epics’ complaints.

Once upon a time, only a very few people had epic gear because only a very few people could raid.  This allowed them to feel better than everyone else.  Their gear was the visible evidence of their success.  They could walk around their relevant city, confident that no one looked better than them.  This rewarded them for their lack of social life.  They were the ‘elites’.  Everyone else was a ‘pleb’.

Fact 1: players who whine normally weren’t a part of this elite.  They resent the fact that they won’t ever get the chance to lord it over their fellow players based on having cool looking gear.

Solution 1: make gear more user definable.  Then elites can prance around in ridiculous looking gear and think they are better while plebs get a good laugh instead of having to listen to them whine.

Fact 2: players who think that raids and gear should be limited to a select few are quite happy to be gaining whilst others pay for them to do so.

Solution 2: make raids ridiculously hard but make players pay extra to access them, whilst us plebs pay less since we can’t access them since we have jobs/lives/our sanity.  So if for every 10 players, 9 are plebs then those 9 players can pay say $10/£6 a month.  Raiding is about 1/3 of the game content so plebs pay 1/3 less.  That means that the $45/£27 a month that the plebs were paying should all now be paid by the elite.  The elite can be elite, but they have to pay $60/£36 a month to do so.  Of course since the elites have no jobs they can’t afford to do this.  Which means even less elites.  Which means, to cover the cost of raid development, the fee would have to be higher.  It also means you brought your epics.  But you can strut around and look cool if that’s what you really want.

Fact 3: players who complain that content is not worth doing because world top 5 guilds have already completed it need a quicker way to get the hell out of my WoW.

Solution 3: implement software that recognises these key phrases so that when someone makes a statement like this an option box pops up in WoW allowing them to choose to end their subscription immediately.  In fact, give them a $50 bonus for leaving.  That money will easily be made back by the saved time on the forums not answering their posts.  Plebs would be happy to increase their subscription by the 0.50c/30p it would cost to cover this for the reward of not having to listen to this complaint ever again.

Fact 4: players who like to be judged based on their gear don’t like it when new gear comes along to replace it.  This makes them feel that all their work has been a complete waste of time.

Solution 4: allow gear to scale with epeen.  Then the plebs will be able to spot the enormous d***** a mile off and avoid them.  This would be an addition to Solution 1.

Fact 5: players who want to be better than everyone else don’t want to play in a cooperative environment.

Solution 5: make a whole new version of WoW that doesn’t involve cooperative play but can be played competitively only.  Call it … Starcraft?  In order to make up for the lost revenue from Solution 3, players could be directed to this game instead.

I am a pleb and proud of it.  I call upon plebs everywhere to rise up and defend their right to have epic gear and participate in raids they are paying for the development of.  Yes, entry level raid content is easier than it was, but this is our right as paying players!  No the game is not easier because most players still have never even seen Algalon yet, and hes the end boss of the previous tier!  No they are not welfare epics because every player who has an epic item has to suffer through the complaints of the epeen brigade and that is payment enough!

Disclaimer: This was a political broadcast brought to you by Morrighan, head of the Plebs for Epix party.  Morrighan accepts that not all vanilla raiders are epeens.  Not all people who complain about the game being easy or welfare epics are epeens.  Morrighan has a lot of friends who were both vanilla raiders and don’t like how easy epics are to get and is not calling them epeens.  She’s just fed up with listening to complaints about WoW being too easy from people who can’t even manage Heroic Azjol Nerub!



  1. […] — Morrighan Guest post You can check out my guest post over at World of Snarkcraft – EZ WoW – Solutions for the E-Peen Generation.  I wrote it just after reading some other blogs, and then realised it was REALLY snarky.  Expect […]


    The e-peen measurement has gotten completely freaking out of control on just about every server I play on. Frankly, I blame the advent of the gear-score — whoever came up with the BRILLIANT idea to reduce a complicated organism like the average WoW player to a conveeeeeeeeeeeenient number that tells someone whether or not you’re leet enough to, y’know, pug instances in the hopes of GETTING better gear needs to be hit repeatedly in the head with the Clue Bat. If the WoW Ladies LJ comm is to be believed, some tools are requiring gear score and achievements to run *Burning Crusade* content *at level.* It’s INSANE.

    • I second this. The only thing worse then the gear score checkers are the achievement checkers – aka if you haven’t done this, we don’t want you. For example, I was approached to pug Naxx-Plague last night. My hunter has 0 (that’s right – zero!) raid achievements. The raid leader (and MT) said my gear score was good enough, but he hoped that I knew the fights well enough, or I was gone. I quickly explained the basics of the fight to ease his mind.

      Come time for the Safety Dance, it became readily apparent to me that despite everyone else having the achievement – they had no bloody idea of how to run back and forth. The tank was constantly in the posion on Phase 1, and either tanking H too close or clear at the other end of the room. Phase 2 was a total disaster – we wiped several times.

      When someone in my guild gets a shiny new mount/pet/gear, we have them toss it up and we all do a quick ooooh, and aaahhhh. Ego boosted, everyone has a good laugh, and enjoys the fact that the guild has profited. But then again, we run around Dalaran in bare feet, blue overalls, and lumberjack shirts carrying fishing poles. Is that considered Redneck-peen?

      • I wonder how many of the people on that pug bought their toons. ::wry smile::

        For me, I have the dubious distinction of having started playing WoW two months before Wrath came out. No, I don’t have any of the Vanilla raid achievements — my main’s guild consists of 22 people, only two of which are logged on at any given time, and five moribund 80s who ground to level cap, started bitching about how easy and boring everything is, and went back on hiatus. We don’t have enough actives to field even a five man team and *nobody* is pugging any of the vanilla content except upgraded Onyxia. I don’t have any of the BC raid achievements for exactly the same reason — no guild support, virtually no pugging, the pugs that are going off are looking for gear/achievements that I cannot get because…It’s a vicious circle. You can’t get gear or experience without having gear or experience AND you’re afflicted with a horde of whiners complaining about how easy everything is while you’re struggling to get to level cap and acquire gear that will let you see all this easy peasy stuff they’re all so bored with.

  3. I absolutely agree with everything you’ve said except for one thing.

    players who like to be judged based on their gear don’t like it when new gear comes along to replace it. This makes them feel that all their work has been a complete waste of time.

    This is not how I feel about gear, but about titles.

    My group runs second on my server in terms of progression. At some point, everyone else will have T9.5, it’s not a big deal that some of my people happened to get it first. People who don’t raid obsessively have every right to get the best gear they can.


    Working my ass off to get Twilight Vanquisher or Of The Nightfall in my 226 gear, and having some idiot waltz in with 245s and get it? Unfair. Stupid. That does cheapen how hard my raid group worked. That does give people who don’t deserve it a chance to get a great title. And it irritates the crap out of me.

    I’m happy with how gear is right now, even though I am a raider. I’m not at all happy about these titles being available even as gear ilevel goes up, up, up. The titles for each tier ought to be retired as soon as a new tier is added. That way everyone gets access to the gear, but those of us who worked their asses off for a month wiping on Sarth +3d have something to show for our effort.

  4. /Nightelf clapdance

    So true, so true

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