Seri sez: Just say no.October 1, 2009
If you rolled a healer, chances are you’re not a jerk. I mean, sure, jerks come in all shapes and sizes but healers, by the very nature of their role, are helpful. Nurturing, even. Our magic is healing magic; we lift our parties up. We are the wind beneath their wings, etc. Make no mistake… we’re in demand, especially when we’re good. Every day friends, guildies and strangers make grabby hands at us, their plaintive bleating stirring us time and time again to rise to the occasion. Maybe it’s the daily heroic, and they just need 3 more badges for a crucial upgrade. Maybe they’re stuck in the pug from hell and they just want to finish and get the heck out. Maybe they’re trying desperately to put together a 10-man and all they need is one more healer to make it happen. The simple truth is that you can’t help everyone all the time or you’ll drive yourself crazy; sometimes you just have to say no.
Say it with me now: No.
I can’t hear you…
Hmm, that’s better. Now that you’ve got the proper terminology, let’s talk about when/how to use it.
1. If you feel like someone is trying to guilt you into doing what they want, say no.
Guilt is a powerful weapon. You may feel obligated to help a guildie just because they ask, or even feel guilty without prompting if it seems like if you don’t go they won’t get to go. It’s important to be able to recognize when you’re feeling guilty on your own and when someone is trying to make you feel guilty. If they’re trying to sway you into coming along with guilt, call them on it.
2. If you feel like running <insert raid here> 10-man on top of the 25-man version (or vice versa) week after week will burn you out on the instance, say no.
Your priority should be whatever your progression runs are. Keep yourself as fresh as you can for these runs, even if it means cutting back on re-running the content in between raids. This becomes more and more important now that there are so many versions of a single raid instance. When content is new, running 10-man, 10-man heroic, 25-man and 25-man heroic might seem exciting but it will get old quickly. If you are starting to feel like you’re tired of the content (or are concerned you might start to feel that way), you need to take a step back and set boundaries before you find yourself dreading raid nights.
3. If you frequently help the person out but they’re never willing to reciprocate, say no.
I think everyone knows a person like this. Whether they do it consciously or not, if you feel like you’re constantly helping someone that never can be counted on to help you it’s up to you to break the cycle. Talk to them about it, or just stop offering/agreeing to help.
4. If you are sick, say no.
…unless, of course, you are online looking for things to do to distract you from sickness. My point here is that if you are sick and do not feel up to doing something, don’t do it anyway. Offer to do it another time.
5. If you were about to log for the night, say no (especially if you have work/school in the morning).
RL comes first, dingleberry. Your friends should understand that.
If a simple “no” won’t suffice, please refer to this handy list of pre-generated excuses:
- I have to wash my cat.
- I’m already saved.
- Wow, that sounds like fun I’ll meet yo@&_!*@~~!^^NO CARRIER (I think I’m showing my age here.)
- I’m allergic.
- I totally would, if not for this rash.
- I think I hear my parent/child/spouse calling…
- It burns when I PvP.
- I’m still in therapy from our last misadventure.
Have something to add to either list? Comment freely.