Seri sez: Now you pay da ogre! – Signs your Class Leader is an idiot.December 4, 2008
A good Class Leader is like a savory cheddar: firm but yielding, sharp but subtle and aged to perfection. Or, in my case, like a croissant: A bit flaky, but versatile. Unfortunately, as with any specialization, we have our share of so-called “experts” who engender more confusion than confidence, more contempt than respect, and… dare I say it… more “WTF” than “OIC” (as the youngsters say).
Fortunately for you, I’m not afraid to call an apple an apple. I grit my teeth and stand up in defiance of this nonsense, shaking my tiny fist at the sky. Knowledge is power, you see, and the better able you are to recognize these impostors the sooner you can knock them from their pedestals and pour a bitter draught of reality down their throats. Or, if nothing else, you’ll be better prepared to do damage control. Be alert for the warning signs!
They don’t practice what they preach.
You know the type. They yell at you for DPSing, but you see them Smiting during trash pulls. They insist you get an expensive enchant, but don’t get it themselves. They tell you to use buff food and elixirs/flasks, but don’t use anything themselves. They harp on you about buffing, but never do their share. They expect you to be on time, but they’re chronically late. This is perhaps even worse than the straight-up ignorant Class Leader. I recommend flogging, unless they’re into that sort of thing. If they are, collaborating with your Hunters for Misdirect hazing may be your only option.
They’re rolling/bidding against DPS casters on hit gear… for their healing set.
This just in from our global news source: Heals don’t miss. If you fail to heal someone, there’s not even a legendary item that’s going to make you any less fail. Sure, there may be occasions where the item is an upgrade for you just based on the other stats on it but there’s no reason you should be competing with a DPS caster for hit gear.
They’re socketing Mp5… as Holy.
As Jov kindly pointed out on Tuesday, there’s no reason for a Holy Priest to socket Mp5. A Disc Priest? Sure. Maybe. It depends. If your Class Leader is a Holy Priest socketing Mp5, it is your biological imperative to laugh at them. If they start waving their lustrous blue gems in your face, run and tell an adult. It’s just indecent.
They get 90-100% of their Priest Class information from the Official WoW Priest Forums.
There are so many sources of awesome Priest information out there… unfortunately, the Official Priest Forum is not one of them. Sure, there is probably a ‘how to priest’ sticky there somewhere that is of help to novices, but if you’ve been Priesting/raiding for a while you’re not a novice and neither is (I hope) your Class Leader. I don’t bother reading ANY of the official WoW forums, because 99.5% of the time it’s just full of whining. It’s demoralizing as hell, and nothing will make you feel like your class (whatever it is) is broken and Blizzard hates it quite as much as browsing the official class forum. Good Priests look elsewhere. That’s why you’re here. That’s why we’re here. To cut through the clutter.
They think MMO Champion is a breakfast cereal. *rimshot*
(If it were, I’d still read the back of the box every morning.)
Ever wished that someone would just yank all the useful information out of blue posts every day and put it somewhere you could read it without slogging through the mire of whining and ‘133t-speak’ that is the WoW forums? I’m about to make that wish come true. Every Class Leader should be in the habit of checking MMO Champion … if not daily, then at least once a week. It should not be your only source of information, but it’s a great way of staying on top of the most recent WoW-related news. I usually just read the news page, but if you’re particularly ambitious you can browse the BlueTracker.
Okay, okay, Shadow Priests can make good Class Leaders too, but you might be surprised just how many of them used to be Holy, burned out, and now have zero interest in Holy Priesting. (How dumb is that?) This particularly breed will usually panic at the first implication that maybe they might have to heal again (even temporarily). Try it sometime when you see them gathering outside the instance portal, just to watch them scatter. It’s a hoot, kind of like chasing pigeons in the park. What, you don’t chase pigeons? Do I have to teach you EVERYTHING?
They don’t read World of Snarkcraft.
Okay, so maybe our brand of tough love isn’t necessarily for everyone. But beneath our bitter and sarcastic exteriors lies… okay, probably just more bitterness and sarcasm. What was I saying? Oh! Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach him to blog and… he may just learn something. Or drown in the archives. Either way, it’s a win.
What did I miss? Comment freely! Viva la Revolution!