Author Archive

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Jov sez: Apologies

December 22, 2009

Apologies to our regular followers. I’ve been totally getting my ass kicked by the holiday season, and I’m at the point where I’m mainly just wanting to hole up and hide until it’s over. I was hoping I’d be able to get a post out this week to make up for the one I missed last week, but… it’s just not gonna happen.

So radio silence from Jov until after the first of the year.

In the meantime, I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday, filled with all sorts of things that you enjoy, even if it’s just the time off work. I’ll catch you in the New Year.

<3

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Jov sez: Dear Father Winter

December 8, 2009

Dear Father Winter,

As I’m certain you know, I’ve been a very good girl this year.  First of all, I haven’t killed any rogues…  DPS has been basking in the glow of my heals, in fact!  Seri has shown me the error of my earlier ways, thinking that DPS aren’t actually people…  How wrong I was!  I’ve also done a good deal of work toward feeding the hungry of Dalaran, each day providing meals to one poor soul or another.  I’ve run errands for giants, I’ve performed tasks for knights, and I’ve made peace with those adorable primitives in Sholozar Basin.

I have done all of these things with nary a thought for myself…  You might say even out of the kindness of my heart.

And because I have done such a good job this year, I only ask that you overlook that…  thing… in Brewfest.  I can hardly be blamed for what I can barely remember, right?  And all those times I accidentally yelled “I WILL PUNCH YOU THROUGH THE INTERNETS…”  Well, of course that makes no sense at all, so it obviously was just a joke.

I’ve spent the past year attempting to be a shining example of all that is good and Holy…  I’ve even been leaving those poor, unfortunate Discipline Priests alone!

I only have one request…  ONE present I want for Winter’s Veil…

This Argent Tournament thing?  Please let it all end.  I don’t care if another stupid space goat ship crashes into it or it pulls a Dalaran and vanishes with a large chunk of the surrounding landscape or what…

I just want to go somewhere I’m actually making a difference.  I want to go to Icecrown.

Love,  Jov

PS — We won’t discuss that time I saw you and the goblin having a sausage party last Winter’s Veil…  We’ll just keep that between you and me.  Kisses.

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Jov sez: Placeholder (maybe)

December 1, 2009

Maybe it’s continuing turkey coma, maybe it’s just pure lack of inspiration, but I have no idea what to do for a post today.

I could do a rant directed at some certain specific people, but it’s likely to get me in trouble for saying what I shouldn’t (and really, true snark requires some level of humor with the bitterness, which I don’t know that I’m ready to do), when really bygones should be bygones.

I could comment on the humor of MMO Champion having 2 blue posts, one saying 3.3 is next week, one saying they’re not telling us when 3.3 is gonna hit, in the same meta post.

I could comment that I totally want the pug pet, and don’t care how many pugs I have to do to get him.

Or I could just leave it like this for now, and try and turn my attention to getting an actual post up for next week.

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Guest Post: Warcry!

November 25, 2009

It’s another Turkey-week guest post, this time a super-Wednesday edition.  This time from Juzuba, a frequent commenter both here and on PlusHeal.

Warcraft?  Warcryft?  War cry craft?  Ah, so it’s build your own war cry.  I can deal, I can deal.  It’s a worthwhile endeavor, you know.  Obviously our homemade chants and shouts cannot possibly eclipse the Classic.  But our lesser brethren (read: the Alliance) have been struggling for fifteen years without an original quip to fall back on after being invariably gunned down before the gates of Orgrimmar.  “For the Alliance” is the equivalent of “Cocoa and peanut butter FUSION” or “Vampires twinkle in direct sunlight”.  It’s a cheap knockoff, and everybody knows it.

I hereby offer a few variants for your situational rage-filled trumpeting needs.

Classic Era

“Defend the Crossroads/Southshore!”

“Remember Mr. Bigglesworth!”

“More Dots!  More Dots!  -50 DKP!”

“Leeeeeroooooyyyyyy Jenkins!”

“Fuck dishonorable kills, I’m getting on my main!”

“Loot the hounds!”

“Sheep the adds!”

TBC Era

“No, YOU are not prepared!”

“______ was merely a setback!”

“Please don’t let it be Warrior/Druid again!”

“Leeeeeroooooyyyyyy Jenkins!”  (still a classic)

“Actually, I think that’s a hunter weapon.”

“Don’t move on Flame Wreath!”

“Kill order is skull, then X.  Sheep moon, banish purple, trap blue square, sap triangle.”

“Don’t nerf me, Bro!”

WotLK Era

“For Saurfang!”

“Death to the Scourge!”  (“And death to the living!” is optional)

“Suffer well, brethren!”

“Kill order is Death and Decay, Consecrate, Blizzard, Bladestorm, wheeeee!”

“Remember Mr. Bigglesworth (redux)!”

“In the mountains…”

“Get out of the Brain Room befo- Yes, master…”

“Battle on, heroes?  It’s my sixth run-through this week!  Screw you, DJ Fordring!”

“Leeeeeroooooyyyyyy Jenkins!”  (always a classic)

“More Dots!  More Dots!  -50 DKP!”

“Remember to loot the Daily Quest Item!”

“Death to the raiding guild!”

If The Alliance Had Huevos

“Remember Lordaeron!”

“Honor to the fallen, and honor to Stormwind!”

“My King Is A Douche!”

“Avenge Gnomergon (One Day, Maybe)!”

“We got Worgen, haha, bitches!”

~

So, fellow war-bards – inspire us with your tales of bravery and courage in the face of oncoming slaughter!

Look, as a D&D player, you have no idea how much effort it took to say that with a straight face…

Jov sez: And now I’m going to be picturing that whenever I’m playing my Aasimar Bard in our Saturday D&D game.  Gee thanks.  >.<

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Jov sez: Meters aren’t about the size of your e-peen

November 17, 2009

So, as our faithful readers are probably aware, our guild is currently recruiting.  In case of any of you bright, awesome, and intelligent people decide to work up the courage to try and spend a bit more time with Seri and myself, I’d just like to give a cautionary tale to keep in mind before you do so.  That tale can be summed up in a single sentence: Just because all the odds seem to be in your favor doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to make it to the interview and beyond.

Okay, to backtrack.

As you probably know, I’m the healing team lead of Axiom.  We’re recruiting healers, and have actually been getting a few good apps in.  Now, an application is your chance to make a good first impression, so a certain amount of talking yourself up is to be expected.  But there’s a good way of doing that and a bad way of doing that.  Talking yourself up to a guild in a way that makes them want to get to know you better involves stressing your positives, especially in a way that doesn’t rely entirely on putting others down to do so.

This application I’m referencing had, on the surface, all the stars in allignment.  It was an applicant from our server, our faction, and returning to the game after a hiatus.  We are recruiting his class.  He typed in complete sentences.  These are all positives.  Being local and horde means that in an iffy situation, we’re more likely to say yes and give you an initiate period.  We’re generally nice people and don’t want to waste time and (your) money on a transfer if we have concerns.  Being local gives you a toe in the door, if not a foot.  And returning to the game after a hiatus means while your gear might need some work, we’re not leaving any of our friends’ guilds in a lurch by yoinking someone from their raid team roster.  Additionally, this person was a friend of a friend of a former raider, who left the guild (the good way) a few months ago because RL was eating his time.

So why with all that going for him did he get a decline before he could even interview?

The answer lies primarily in a single sentence: “Most <applicant’s class> healers suck, so I enjoy healing against them.”

I’m a healing lead, I read that and instantly went no, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Okay, so…  Meters aren’t a competition.  This isn’t to say they’re not useful, but their utility is NOT in proving you’re so much better than everyone else around you.  It’s always said that raiding is a team sport, and that’s true, but it’s true exponentially moreso of healing.  In a team activity, you do not play against your teammates. You play with them in a trust game.  You trust them to know what they’re doing and to ask for help if needed.  You trust me to know what I’m doing in giving out assignments.  And if things go wrong, you trust everyone to work together to fix it.

“But Jov,” asks the kind and gentle ones in the audience, “why do you assume he’s talking about meters?” It’s quite simple– what does ever dps’er in your pug do at the end of every pull to show off how much they pwn?  They link the meters.  It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to guess that’s what he’s talking about when speaking of the suck of others.

“Does that mean it’s wrong to top the meters?” No, so you trees can let out that breath you’ve been holding.  There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with being on the top of the meter.  It’s a listing.  Someone is going to be on the top.  Someone is going to be on the bottom.  That’s how lists work.

“If your place on the meter doesn’t really matter, why should healers even care about them?” Meters are there for self-analysis (or my analysis, I suppose) and personal improvement.  The easiest way to do that is to just look at what you’re doing.

“I don’t know how to read a meter, there’s too much information.  I don’t know what I’m looking for.” There’s really two ways of doing this:  the easy way and the hard way.  I’m a big fan of the easy way.  Pull up a boss fight, look at yourself.  What spells are you casting?  What spells aren’t you casting?  Think about your assignment on that fight, and think about why you made the spell choices you did.  Now, pull someone else of your class/spec for that same fight.  (WoL is excellent for this, since you can search by server.  Find someone roughly at your level of progression.)  Look at their spell choices for that fight.  Now do it again.  If whoever you’re checking seems to have the same spell priorities as you, you’re probably doing it right, regardless of your place (or their place) on the meter.  If your useage is different, some of that can be do to raid composition, but you might want to try out what you’ve seen.

“I’m using the same spells, at roughly the same priority.  But I’m at the bottom and X is at the top!” There’s a lot of things which can account for meter position, but the biggest culprit is going to be one of two things:  lag and overstacking of healers.  Lag is the most unfortunate, and the one I can sympathize with most.  But to put it simply, if you’re running at a higher ping or lower framerate than your raid-mates, chances are they’re going to get the heal off before you do.  More of your heal will be overage, more of their heal will be effective.  They’ll move up the meter compared to you.  Overstacking healers also tends to lead to jumps in effective healing.  Unlike DPS, who can do damage and do damage and do damage until the boss is dead, healers can only heal as much damage as has been taken.  The reason fewer and fewer healers are needed as content goes on farm isn’t a matter of the healing power of the healers increasing from gear as much as it is the incoming damage becomes less as the tanks gear up and the raid is more comfortable with the encounter dynamics, reducing raid damage.  In that situation, it can feel very much like a race sometimes to see who can get the heal off first.

“After all that, I still want to know what’s wrong with wanting to top meters, it just means I’m wanting to do better, right?” No, no it doesn’t.  It goes back to that trust issue I mentioned above.  If you try to top the meter, you’re going to do that by trying to do your job and everyone else’s at the same time.  That means I as the healing lead (and 23 other people in the raid) can’t trust you to keep your assignment first in your mind.  I’m not talking about X Priest only healing group 2; I’m talking about X Priest keeping group 2 as their top priority and only tossing hots/prom/coh/shields on g4 if g2 is stable.  If your focus is on outhealing PallyZ, that is where your focus is, not on G2’s health.

So if you’re wanting to apply to Axiom, tell me how awesome you are.  Don’t tell me that everyone else sucks and you’ve got the recount screenshot to prove it.  That’s much more likely to get you an interview.

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Jov sez: Dear Blizz, wtf are you thinking?

November 10, 2009

I was going to make an actual post, but instead, I’ll leave you all to wonder what I wonder:  WTF was Blizz thinking when they drew up the T10 armor?

http://www.wow.com/gallery/shaman-t10-frost-witch-regalia-shoulders/

Yeah, me too.  At least Seri’s not the only one developing a twitch.

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Brief note

November 6, 2009

Derevka has a poll up pinging the community for interest in his new idea: a video blog detailing encounters, UI stuff, and general healery.

Go take a look, and comment if you’re interested!  (I know I am.)

http://www.talesofapriest.com/2009/11/perhaps-return-of-sorts.html

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Jov sez: Icecrown can’t hit soon enough

November 3, 2009

As if to rub my well-established hatred of TOC in my face, new fun things are apparently on the menu for Icecrown.  One of which is a healing fight.

For those who’ve kept themselves buried under a rock, the hilight (screw Arthas, this is the hilight) of Icecrown is Valithria Dreamwalker.

If you don’t feel like following the link, at first glance, she seems slightly reminiscent of Vael back in BWL.  Friendly dragon, captured by our enemy, worn down and at half health…  But there the fight changes, my friends.  Unlike Vael, Valithria wants our healings.

Our tasty tasty healings.

That’s right, we heal the boss to full to win the encounter.  (yes, there’s also waves of trash and stuff.  But none of that matters.  This is a HEALING FIGHT in the truest sense of the word.  Hot damn!)

And I have to sit here in ToC for HOW much longer?

/protest!

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Birthday Greetings

November 1, 2009

Happy Birthday to seri-wave

You live in a

You look like a

And we totally love you for it <3

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Guest Post: EZ WoW– Solutions for the E-Peen Generation

October 27, 2009

This rebuttal is brought to you by Morrigahn of Caer Morrighan

There’s been some discussion about WoW being too easy recently.  It started with a discussion of how the change in the difficulty has affected social relations on World of Matticus.  This was followed by an excellent post at the Pink Pigtail Inn which I must say I agree with 100%.  Then it spread across the blogosphere like wildfire and was picked up by the likes of Casual Hardcore and  Tobold.

This is my contribution to the debate.  Instead of talking about the problem I’m suggesting a solution.  Its not a practical solution.  Its more a ranting, slightly insane type of solution.

Let me tell you whats really behind the ‘too easy’ and ‘welfare epics’ complaints.

Once upon a time, only a very few people had epic gear because only a very few people could raid.  This allowed them to feel better than everyone else.  Their gear was the visible evidence of their success.  They could walk around their relevant city, confident that no one looked better than them.  This rewarded them for their lack of social life.  They were the ‘elites’.  Everyone else was a ‘pleb’.

Fact 1: players who whine normally weren’t a part of this elite.  They resent the fact that they won’t ever get the chance to lord it over their fellow players based on having cool looking gear.

Solution 1: make gear more user definable.  Then elites can prance around in ridiculous looking gear and think they are better while plebs get a good laugh instead of having to listen to them whine.

Fact 2: players who think that raids and gear should be limited to a select few are quite happy to be gaining whilst others pay for them to do so.

Solution 2: make raids ridiculously hard but make players pay extra to access them, whilst us plebs pay less since we can’t access them since we have jobs/lives/our sanity.  So if for every 10 players, 9 are plebs then those 9 players can pay say $10/£6 a month.  Raiding is about 1/3 of the game content so plebs pay 1/3 less.  That means that the $45/£27 a month that the plebs were paying should all now be paid by the elite.  The elite can be elite, but they have to pay $60/£36 a month to do so.  Of course since the elites have no jobs they can’t afford to do this.  Which means even less elites.  Which means, to cover the cost of raid development, the fee would have to be higher.  It also means you brought your epics.  But you can strut around and look cool if that’s what you really want.

Fact 3: players who complain that content is not worth doing because world top 5 guilds have already completed it need a quicker way to get the hell out of my WoW.

Solution 3: implement software that recognises these key phrases so that when someone makes a statement like this an option box pops up in WoW allowing them to choose to end their subscription immediately.  In fact, give them a $50 bonus for leaving.  That money will easily be made back by the saved time on the forums not answering their posts.  Plebs would be happy to increase their subscription by the 0.50c/30p it would cost to cover this for the reward of not having to listen to this complaint ever again.

Fact 4: players who like to be judged based on their gear don’t like it when new gear comes along to replace it.  This makes them feel that all their work has been a complete waste of time.

Solution 4: allow gear to scale with epeen.  Then the plebs will be able to spot the enormous d***** a mile off and avoid them.  This would be an addition to Solution 1.

Fact 5: players who want to be better than everyone else don’t want to play in a cooperative environment.

Solution 5: make a whole new version of WoW that doesn’t involve cooperative play but can be played competitively only.  Call it … Starcraft?  In order to make up for the lost revenue from Solution 3, players could be directed to this game instead.

I am a pleb and proud of it.  I call upon plebs everywhere to rise up and defend their right to have epic gear and participate in raids they are paying for the development of.  Yes, entry level raid content is easier than it was, but this is our right as paying players!  No the game is not easier because most players still have never even seen Algalon yet, and hes the end boss of the previous tier!  No they are not welfare epics because every player who has an epic item has to suffer through the complaints of the epeen brigade and that is payment enough!

Disclaimer: This was a political broadcast brought to you by Morrighan, head of the Plebs for Epix party.  Morrighan accepts that not all vanilla raiders are epeens.  Not all people who complain about the game being easy or welfare epics are epeens.  Morrighan has a lot of friends who were both vanilla raiders and don’t like how easy epics are to get and is not calling them epeens.  She’s just fed up with listening to complaints about WoW being too easy from people who can’t even manage Heroic Azjol Nerub!