Jov sez: ToC makes me want to not-WoW

Though I’ve made no real secret of it, I can’t actually remember if I’ve stated here, on the record, that I hate ToC.  So I’m going to do so:  I hate ToC.  I hate it’s mother.  I hate it’s babies.  I hate it’s cute little pet kitten named Mittens.  Nothing about ToC isn’t boring at best, cringe-inducingly obnoxious at worst.  I know it is the source of all that is good and ilvl 245+ but if I never went back there again, it would be too soon.

I also tend to be a somewhat cyclical raider.  Each expansion, Blizzard releases that ONE INSTANCE that just makes me want to punch babies.  Back in Vanilla, it was AQ (Bugs, why did it have to be bugs…?).  TBC had Hyjal (and it’s waves and waves of dynamic trash encounters.)  Wrath has ToC.

I’m also surrounded by people who enjoy it, or at least enjoy the ilvls enough to farm the shit out of every available version as often as possible every week.  I’m stuck in the position of being a bad raider, and occasionally preventing groups from going just because I’m unwilling to burn myself out faster by spending 5 days a week in there.  I do the guild-progression 25s, but no, I’m under zero obligation to run it for “fun” on 10s as well.

I’m also kinda tired of people trying to convince me I’m a bad person, or wrong or mistaken for not enjoying the encounters, wanting my PVP kept separate (read: not present entirely) from my PVE, or the constant assurances that “It’s really not that bad.”

No, I’m sorry.  You’re not in my head, you don’t know what I feel.  ToC really is that bad, and I’m not going to go there any more than I have to.

Now, I fully admit that these are my issues.  I found ToC boring but bearable until we hit Faction Champions for the first time.  Jov doesn’t pvp.  Specifically I do not pvp.  It’s somewhat the guild joke, but…  I don’t.  Get me in a pvp situation, and my brain turns off and I turn into a ball of super-anxiety.  I’m totally useless on that fight.  I hate the fight, I know (and hate) that I’m useless, it’s a nice happy ball of feeding on itself.

Telling me “it’s not that bad” doesn’t actually do anything but make me feel worse, but thanks for playing.

I’m looking at the finish line.  In Vanilla, Naxx 40 was my salve to AQ.  Hell, even in it’s nerfed version, I still enjoy Naxx.  TBC had me squealing in joy at the thought of Sunwell enounters; it was just enough to get me through the Hyjal grind.  My eye is on the prize; and that prize is Icecrown.  I just hope Blizzard continues their tradition of ending an expansion with a bang.

Final Results!

Congrats to Myranda for winning the Party Grenade!

And to Oraxia for winning the Sandbox Tiger!

You two should be receiving your codes via email shortly.  Thank you again to everyone participating in our birthday extravaganza (Prizes = extravaganza y/y?)

And now, back to your regularly scheduled Snarkcraft programming.

Grand Finale!

Ending this first birthday week with a bang (not a whimper), we’re going to be giving away one (1) more Party G.R.E.N.A.D.E. code and one (1)… drum roll please… Sandbox Tiger code! That’s right, comment on this post between now and Midnight CST US and you’ll have not one but TWO chances to win. It’s just our way of saying thank you… and, well, everyone should ride a Sandbox Tiger at least once.

Be sure the e-mail address you use when posting your comment (illustrated below) is the one you want your code sent to; don’t put your e-mail address in the body of the comment. It’s for your own good!

Wednesday Weener!

Congratulations to Ayslin!  Your code is on it’s way and now you can tell your raid leader to shove it when they say “don’t stand in crap!”

If you didn’t win, have no fear; there are still more chances!

Seri sez: Varian Wrynn is a Douchebag.

Ah, progression nights. There’s nothing quite like new content to invigorate a raid team, is there? That’s what 99% of our applicants say they raid for… to see new content. It’s exciting to step into a new instance, wide-eyed and quivering with anticipation. What will the first boss pull bring? Death. Yes, the first boss usually brings lots of death, but that’s OK. We’re professionals, and what happens in the instance stays in the instance. Right? We pick ourselves up, we dust ourselves off, we try again. Except, this time we’re not crawling through the sewers of Black Temple, ruthlessly slaughtering all the potential witnesses to our folly along with the boss in question… we’re in a farking arena. There are spectators, for crying out loud. Not to mention that douchebag, Varian Wrynn.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m familiar with the lore. I know he’s got a few bones to pick with the orcs over that whole “razing Stormwind” thing and the “enslaved gladiator” thing (you’d think he might have a small aversion to arenas after that, but oh no..), not to mention the “Wrathgate incident” and the slight misunderstanding as to the Horde’s involvement. He hates us, I get that.

We’re used to bosses taunting us with pithy comments as they grind us into paste, but the derisive comments from the bleachers are new. “Is this the best the Horde has to offer?” he asks, with a snort and a toss of his hair, as we’re dying in fires and being beaten about the head and shoulders by filthy little snow rats. “Worthless scrub,” he taunts, with a sneer, from his lofty perch.

Come down here and say that to my face, you self-righteous windbag!

At least when bosses taunt us we get the satisfaction (eventually) of killing them. I engaged in some speculation this weekend with a guildie or two about whether or not the taunts from the bleachers made progression nights more stressful. You know… I think they really do. It gets on your nerves after a while; I can’t decide if this is great design on Blizzard’s part or a really crappy idea.

One thing’s for sure: I’d love to be able to have a helpful DK Death Grip that mofo down and start a diplomatic incident. Alas, Jaina would probably just freeze us all and spirit him away again. Lucky for us, she’s not by his side 24×7. Weekly trips to Stormwind to blow off steam after Heroic ToC are starting to sound more and more appealing.

>> This Space For Rent <<

So,  now that we’ve made it through a year of (mostly) dedicated weekly posting, we’ve decided that we’ve earned a vacation. Rather than leave our readers high and dry, we thought it might be fun to bring in some guest posters for a week or two.

Think you’ve got what it takes? Shoot us an e-mail. Posts should be 1500 words or fewer, unless designed to be multi-part. You can write about whatever you want, as long as it is WoW-related and appropriate for our audience. (Raiders and/or Priests.) If you’re a blogger, feel free to name-drop your own blog! All we ask is that whatever you send us be something new, and not a re-post of something you’ve already posted elsewhere. Snark optional, but encouraged. (We are World of Snarkcraft, after all.)

The party continues!

Thanks to all who have participated in our contests so far, both on the blog and on Twitter. We were surprised and flattered by all the nice things you had to say on Monday; your comments almost thawed the ice around our cold snarky hearts. Seriously, I think I may have quirked a smile. No worries, it passed.

Anyhow, we have another code to give away today! Comment on this post anytime between now and Midnight CST US for your chance to win a Path of Cenarius loot code! It’s like standing in AOE, but guaranteed not to send your raid leader into a conniption. Unless, of course, they have a pixelated pollen allergy–and, really, who can predict that?

Be sure the e-mail address you use when posting your comment (illustrated below) is the one you want your code sent to; don’t put your e-mail address in the body of the comment. It’s for your own good!

Monday’s Birthday Drawing Winner!

I came, I counted (not counting my comment or the pingback), I rolled.

Apparently the early bird does get the worm!  Congratulations to Larísa from the Pink Pigtail Inn (fitting, one of our first commenters and one of the first people to blogroll us)

Larísa, expect to see your code for the Party G.R.E.N.A.D.E. in your mailbox soon!

Everyone else — Don’t despair.  Your Snark Mavens are generous, so there’ll be more chances to win as the week goes on.

Jov sez: Why Jov will ALWAYS be holy

So, after being the bastion of all that is good and Holy here in the blogosphere (turning my guns on Bubbles and even my partner in crime, Seri), I feel a bit of an explanation is in order.

1.  Holy is awesome.  I lurvs me some AOE healing, and raid healing is the shiznit.

2.  Disc is kinda meh.  It’s fine for 5-mans, and yes, Penance is an awesome spell…  But tank healing puts me to sleep.  Seriously, it’s like zzzzzzzzz.

3.  My mostly-retired Alliance Priest Former Main thingie is Discipline.  She’s also lv 71.

4.  I’ve been stuck as the IDS bitch in raids.  I didn’t like it.  I want AOE healings.

5.  MONTHS OF MOLTEN CORE OF-LEVEL.  I’ve raided as a Discipline Priest.  It was back when Molten Core was the shiznit, BWL wasn’t open yet, and Divine Spirit was the top-tier Discipline Talent (and a single-target buff to boot.)  My raid leader insisted every member of our 40-man with a mana bar got hit with DS.  You do the math.

6.  Did I mention that I’m not a pullerdin?  Cause I’m not.

7. Turning off scrolling combat text mods in favor of the default blizzard lets me see shiny yellow numbers scattered all over my screen, and makes me giggle like a little schoolgirl.

8. I’m immature and stubborn.  Where have all the holies gone?  Everyone wants to go bubble-priest.  Everywhere I turn, it’s bad holy and (more often) bad Disc specs surrounding me.   (My server seriously needs an intervention.)

9.  You’ll pry SoR and CoH out of my COLD DEAD FINGERS.

It’s our Birthday (and YOU get the gifts!)

Happy Birthday to me!  Happy birthday to me!  Happy birthday, dear Snarkcraft…  Happy Birthday to meeee!

One year ago this week, your beloved Snarkers were outed by Matticus (after much poking and prodding) and we began getting our first comments.  Since then, it’s been a rollicking trip!

Seri wins with the “most visited post” category, receiving nearly 4,000 hits to her World of Repgrind guide.  (She also steals the show with #2 (Leveling Holy/Discipline) and #3 (Lrn2WWS part 2).  Jov brings up the #4 position with her guide to Speccing Your Priest.  Y’all love you some Seri!)

Ego wins with the “Top Referrers” category (though, she’s defeated if you attribute all the World of Matticus and Spiritual Guidance referrals as coming from Matt…)

Finally, our top two search terms are “World of Snarkcraft” and “Snarkcraft” respectively.  What can we say?  You know what you want!

Now, what about my parenthetical aside in the topic of this post?  Well!  As a thank you to our readers, we’ve managed to make a deal with a couple of goblins, so we’ll be sprinkling opportunities throughout the week to win some fabulous prizes!

Just leave a comment to this post, and we’ll do a random selection.  Winner gets a fabulous (did I mention they’re fabulous?) Slashdance card!  (You too can infect your raid with a Party G.R.E.N.A.D.E.)  Comment between now and Midnight CST US for your chance to win!  (Not certain when Midnight CST lands?  Check the timezone converter!)

Also, while we don’t want you commenting leaving your email, make certain the email field you fill in to comment contains the email you want the code to go to.