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Seri sez: Er, what? – 10 Lame Excuses for Dying in a Void Zone.

March 12, 2009

fissureThe “void zone” mechanic is rampant in Wrath, though every encounter seems to call it something different. Whether it is an inky black circle or a vibrant blue/red column, they all share common properties:

a) You have to move out of them as quickly as possible because…
b) …they will kill you.

Unfortunately, situational awareness is not everyone’s cup of tea and even the most attentive player has the occasional lapse or mishap. However, we here at the Snarkcraft HQ have heard some pretty lame excuses for dying in void zones in the last few months. Here’s a peek at our top ten:

10. What void zone?

Void zones are sneaky, but they’re not that sneaky. Your reaction time might not have been top notch, but the only way you could NOT see it is if you weren’t paying attention. Shame on you.

9. Child in lap.

Ah, offspring. There is a reason why I don’t have children, and this is one of them. My children would be hog-tied, gagged and locked in a closet during raid time (ok, honestly, pretty much all the time). For the rest of you… we know you love your kids, but hectic don’t-stand-in-that fights are not good times for a parental snuggle.

8. Drinking bird can only tap one key at a time.

Shaman, I’m looking at you.

7. Pet interference.

Unless your pet is spewing some sort of bodily fluid on your person, being distracted by Fido is no reason to die in a void zone. It’s not a long fight, you can feed/pet/scold/laugh at him afterward.ninja!

6. Ninja-AFKness.

A “Ninja-AFK” means sneakily going AFK without telling anyone. However, if your spontaneous need to AFK involves actual ninjas this moves from the “lame” list to the “awesome” list.

5. SO aggro.

Not everyone’s Significant Other is understanding about raiding boundaries, but unless they are chucking plates at your head or otherwise intending bodily harm (aka “vagina bear(er) mauling”) you should really be able to deflect them with a quick ‘yes dear’ and follow up during loot distribution.

4. Tabbed out by anti-virus application.

Helpful tip: Turn off your AV scanner before the raid, especially if it DOES THIS ALL THE DAMN TIME.

3. Busy yelling at other people for dying in void zones.

Et tu, Brute?

2. Lag.

“Lag” is the #1 cause of void zone deaths, but only in a small fraction of instances does “I lagged” mean “I experienced a latency spike.” The rest of the time, it means “I didn’t move quickly enough.”

1. Pulled plug.

We all have frustrating nights, but if you got pissed off and facilitated an “internet outage” mid-raid you are SO off my raid team.

With that said… what lame excuses have YOU heard lately?

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41 comments

  1. It’s definately lag all the time. This guy had that macro set up “… fails at void zones [4th time]. Sucks to see your name on the …s.


  2. LOL at the drinking bird. I love that little guy but I never should have left him in charge…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King-Size_Homer


  3. @ Neverdown – I have a love/hate relationship with Failbot. That is perhaps a subject for an entire new post.

    @ Zaltu – I can’t shake the mental image of our Shaman sitting with their feet up on their desks eating donuts during raids now.


  4. I am a victim of #3! :(


  5. I’m fortunate – I haven’t died to a void zone yet, but I have watched a few of my raiders (and raid leads!) pull #3.

    Hilarious.


  6. “Son of a [female dog], I strafed out of the way of a flame wall RIGHT into a [affectionate] void zone! [Gently caress] me!”

    “How the heck was I in that? I see me twenty yards away!”
    “I see you twenty yards away too, chief… and dead.”

    “I’m sorry guys, I just didn’t move fast eno… hey, my combat log says a frostbolt got me.”
    Rogue: “Erheh. Whoops?”

    All of the above have happened to me personally.

    Typically in our guild only the better raiders will even admit culpability. The rest just kind of give you a shifty-eyed look and hope you don’t call them out.


  7. *has fallen victim to #3 more than any other


  8. My raid’s arguments over who’s fault something was generally boil down to a race to claim culpability :)


  9. Way back on Magtheridon we had someone who didn’t click on time, and when asked what happened he cried out on Vent, “My cube is broken!” Ever since then it’s been our standard answer for anything like void zone deaths.

    And I agree with Llanion: the good raiders will fess up when they noobed something. The less good raiders claim lag and little brothers at the keyboard.


  10. “Oh, the void zones are blue now?”

    “Yes, they’re blue, like we said three times before the first wipe and again before this one.”

    “Sorry, I’m semi-afk, lol”


  11. Lamest void zone death is getting nailed by one while using Charge to grab the third drake. This is in the spirit of many warrior deaths that involve the lack of ability to charge in a straight line.


  12. [...] in any game – is one of the drums I bang loudly. Seri over at Snarkcraft have a great article on 10 lame excuses for dying to void zones. Replace “void zone” with “Heigan splash” or “lava wave” or [...]


  13. @Seri M:TG <3


  14. P.S. Nevermind, just looked at it closely… Cheap knock off


  15. @ Myssidia – I’m not up on CCG’s, I just thought it was an appropriate picture.

    @ Everyone – Don’t do a Google Images search for ‘fissure’. Ew.


  16. @ Everyone – Don’t do a Google Images search for ‘fissure’. Ew.

    *snrk*


  17. @ Jov – Hey, I’m just trying to do a public service here.

    Also, don’t search Amazon for ‘Pyrex’ from work. I learned that one a while back. Pyrex makes a lot more than glass measuring cups, apparently.


  18. @Jov – XD

    @Seri – =O I realized that I didn’t put any sort of smiley in my P.S. post so it might have sounded hostile. o.o Promise I’m not that much of a dork.


  19. As I’ve complained to Seri and Jov both in the past, my most hated excuse is the “Oh, I didn’t move out of it fast enough, Tee hee!” /murder.


  20. Ahhh.. Heigan.. <3

    I’ve conscripted one of my hunters to set up an anti-fail routine for Heigan. He’s got his second comp set up to loudly play the Safety Dance on private binds on Vent. Someone fails on the dance, he hits a button, they get “WE CAN DANCE IF WE WANT TO” etc. while they sit there, dead.

    It’s worked quite effectively. Last night, we only had 3 deaths, much improved from last week’s 9.

    I haven’t really been paying attention to excuses much, but I’ll be sure to note any of interest. :)


  21. @ Seri – Pyrex is just a material, originally developed by Corning. It can be used, technically, to refer to anything made out of glass that is tempered by the same techniques.


  22. Hehe I was tanking Lady B on my hunter the other night. We’re a relatively casual guild and this was our first time visiting 4HM in Naxx 25 and my first time tanking one of the rear bosses. I was on debuff callout duty and was splitting my attention between my debuffs and the health of the Baron that I totally didn’t see that nasty black circle that popped up under my feet.

    At least I took full responsibility for the wipe though :)


  23. I died to a void zone for the first time yesterday because I was trying to DPS Tenebron… This is why I don’t play Shadow. Bad priest!


  24. In my guild it’s the ranged dps doing #10. Though after a quick holiday in shadow spec I can understand why they miss the voids — as ranged dps you can often focus too much on the boss location and forget about your own feet.


  25. If everyone “lagged” as much as they say they did, then Blizz would have to still be using old Mac Plus computers to run their servers on. I have one or two players who have very convenient “lag” spikes far too often.

    And my cat (who may actually be a ninja) snuck up while I was healing an SSC fight, jumped on the keyboard, minimized WoW and pressed my push-to-talk key so that everyone could hear me yelling ” you #%^%$^%$%#@ cat! @$@#%$#$@#$@#%#!$@%!!!”


  26. “You don’t understand, I couldn’t move, my everything procced! I was doing mad DPS there!”

    “MT’s huge butt was blocking my view”

    “I thought it was warlock AOE or something”

    “Those things don’t hurt so much! I stand in them all the time in Gundrak”

    And the best one…

    “Well if you guys were awake you could have healed me through it”


  27. “i was too busy healing the MT to see it”

    /facepalm


  28. Here’s one I’ve heard the most:

    “My graphics(spell detail) were turned down! I couldn’t see it!”

    How is it that people reach level 80 and still can’t be aware of their own HP dropping?


  29. Lemme tell you though, the sad part about actually having lag on one of these encounters is… nobody will believe you. Ever.

    And yes, this has happened to me :P


  30. @ Pike – Helpful tip: If you think you are lagging call out a warning on vent before you end up in a void zone. Makes it more believable. :)


  31. “I didn’t know they were blue now” while we’ve been ranting about the blue voidzones on vent during the trash pulls. =/ “kek, they give mana now” (yeh, our humor can improve)


  32. “Yes, dear” isn’t really working when the significant other (yes, boyfriend, not child) of the Kel’Thuzad offtank healer is poking her with a shoehorn and pulling out the cord to the headset. Once second distraction is enough to loose the tank to a frost blast. Luckily we didn’t wipe.


  33. *snickers* I love this post.

    The drinking bird, especially. Not that we know any shamans like that, not at all… >.>

    And, and.. and.. Seri.. try “Gaping Chasm” or “Noxious Lair” instead of fissure!


  34. With regards to #2 ‘Lag’ if you think that its necessary (for whatever reason) to *jump* out of the Void Zone, the server doesnt track your position while airborn, so you are !!in the void zone!! from the time you jump until the time you land elsewhere plus the time it takes for your computer to report your new position to the server, then back to you then the server again to verify that you’re outside of it. Based on normal latency and the time it takes to jump, it is almost impossible to jump out of a void zone and not get hit by it.


  35. I can’t stand it when people claim it was lag when they were still casting spells. If it was truly lag, you’d be standing there not doing anything.

    Also, @Doug: I knew someone who thought you could avoid Consecrate ticks by jumping in the air in between the ticks.


  36. @ Rizz — God, don’t remind me. “I totally don’t take damage if I’m in the air during a pulse!”

    nubtard


  37. “I thought it was an aura of awesomeness because I was healing so much”.


  38. Dang… I was hoping for data on what causes fissure lag. Died 3 times now on Kel in 25 man and it is literally unavoidable on my machine. When one drops it is like I am taking a screenshot. By time machine unfreezes I am dead.

    Others have same issue here. I am also using Nvidia card – http://forums.wow-europe.com/thread.html;jsessionid=9AF7B57C29771867373D3BB203C70B99.app06_03?topicId=7913133827&sid=1


  39. Don’t laugh at the “jumping out of Consecration” – I’m still doing it. Year long training with FPS. (Every step further from the rocket/grenade helps)


  40. [...] – This one is Seri’s fault.  You want her void zone post here.  If you’re looking for something else, gtfo this [...]


  41. [...] #3 in my Healer 101 tips. Yet, this continues to be a problem for many raiders leading to the Snarkcraft post by Seri. I think this stems mostly from a skill that is often overlooked by many raiders: Situation [...]



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